Yapjaw: This Newsletter Feels The Need — The Need For Speed
Slackjaw readers and patrons of comedy, my name is Adam Dietz and I am the editor of Slackjaw’s thrice-monthly newsletter Yapjaw. Each month, I will showcase the best and brightest humor on Slackjaw in addition to some other cool stuff from equally cool spots. If this newsletter seems rushed or lacking in any way, it’s because I, like most of the nation, have Top Gun: Maverick fever. Sorry Dr. Strange, but there’s no room for you in this multiverse of madness*, too many glistening beach bods, F-14’s, and hot-ass needle drops.
*Didn’t see it/Don’t know what it is!
On this week’s edition of Yapjaw, we’re talking sperm conservation, playoff beards, and dinner parties. Want the goods? Keep reading!
Slackjaw’s Best In Show:
Relax In Our Fragile Airbnb by James Klein
Just don’t touch any of our expensive, easily broken decor.
Sperm Conservation Sanctions For A Post-Roe World by Bonnie Joy Sludikoff
What to expect in 2023!
Cruelty-Free Broadway Blurbs For Critics Who “Didn’t Love It” by T. Kent Jones
It was, um, fine?
Once You Brave The 5 Hottest Hot Sauces Of 2022, Diane Will Surely Take You Back by David Henne
Do you have what it takes to survive the fiery gauntlet and reclaim Diane’s love?
So You Found Me Unconscious In The Lazy River. Now What? by Molly Kessler
No one came on vacation to watch a grown man freak out, so please get it together.
Great Work From Other Great Places:
I’m your Overgrown “Playoff Beard,” And We Need To Break Up by Kristine Laco in Greener Pastures Magazine
This Town Ain’t Big Enough For The Two Of Us Partner — So I’ll Just Leave Then. Enjoy The Town! by James Knapp in McSweeney’s
Notes On My Portrayal In The True Crime TV Show About My Neighbor’s Murder by Libby Marshall in The Belladonna Comedy
I Would Be the Best Writer in the World but Oops, My Pencil Broke by Audrey Clark in Points In Case
From The Slackjaw Editors’ Desk:
Critics Respond To My Performance At Last Night’s Dinner Party by Adam Dietz in Slackjaw
Quiz: How Crunchy Are You? by Alex Baia in Slackjaw
Slackjaw editor, and all-around kind soul, Sarah James wrote a dang book! Entitled “The Woman with Two Shadows,” this fascinating debut historical novel details one of the most closely held secrets of World War II and the woman caught up in it. The book is available wherever books are sold and also here.
Editor’s Note:
Here’s a few writing ideas/headlines I’ve had of late that I haven’t been able to do anything with. Some of these are pretty hack, but nevertheless…I am going to share them with you. Please feel free to to take them and run, or get a few sentences in and desert them in your Google Docs as I did. These bad ideas now belong to all of us!
- Introducing the Spirit Halloween Credit Card
- It’s The Year 2040 And Being Indifferent Is Illegal
- The Sign Said Disneyland Left, So I Took A Baseball Bat To It
- Humor = Tragedy + Time + A Banana Peel
- Some sort of a Frost/Nixon thing but with ALF and Richard Nixon
- Toxic Male Literary Magazine Submission Guidelines
- An Oral History Of Gal Gadot’s 2020 “Imagine” Video
- Gotta Say, A Lot Fewer Pies Cooling In Window Sills As An Adult Than I Expected
- Why Is This Woke Mob Coming After Me, Frankenstein’s Monster?
The Final Bell:
Be sure and follow Slackjaw on all of your favorite social media sites. Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram, it’s all here.
Interesting in submitting to Slackjaw? Of course you are! Our submission guidelines can be found here.
Spread the word, comment below, tell your friends. Keep reading, writing, drinking, eating, and doing your thing.
Until the next edition of Yapjaw, take it easy.
