Yapjaw: This Newsletter Is Dedicated To You, Giovanni Ribisi
Slackjaw readers and patrons of comedy, my name is Adam Dietz and I am the editor of Slackjaw’s thrice-monthly newsletter Yapjaw. Each month, I will showcase the best and brightest humor on Slackjaw in addition to some other cool stuff from equally cool spots. And no, nothing happened to Giovanni Ribisi! In fact, between his recent turn in Paramount’s The Offer and the dozen or so Avatar movies slated to come out over the next few years, I’d say Giovanni Ribisi is doing just fine. Keep doing what you’re doing Giovanni, we love you baby.
On this week’s edition of Yapjaw, we’re talking Bob Newhart, ketchup, and tipping for takeout. Want the goods? Keep reading!
Slackjaw’s Best In Show:
The CDC’s Official Developmental Milestones — Not For Babies, But For Tired AF Parents by Julie Kling
While parents may achieve these milestones at slightly different times, it’s important to learn the signs and call “bullshit” if these markers are not reached during the first three years of parenthood.
10 Amazing Facts You Didn’t Know About “The Bob Newhart Show” by Anthony Scibelli
Bob Newhart’s salary for a single episode was almost double that of a double episode.
My Boyfriend Left Me For An Art Consultant Who Wears Limited Edition Bucket Hats by Eshaana Sheth
It’s been one year since my boyfriend, Topper James III, left me for a blonde person on the West Coast who worships Anish Kapoor and has a small line of essential oil infused candles.
Bad Things Reframed As Good Things by Christopher Shelley
“Every problem is an opportunity in disguise.” — John Adams
My Rejection Of Makeup Is Totally Feminist And Has Nothing To Do With Me Not Knowing What Primer Is by Amy Currul
I swear the two things couldn’t be less related!
Great Work From Other Great Places:
Please Send Me Your IG Before Our Date So I Can Make Sure You’re Not A Pterodactyl by Jessica F. Lillian in The Belladonna Comedy
Why I Am Not A Writer by John Mancini in McSweeney’s
I’m the Last Bottle of Ketchup At Mar-A-Lago And I Live In A Constant State Of Fear by Matt Fotis in McSweeney’s
Mosquitoes Review Me by Ian Bardenstein in Points In Case
This Pride Month: TD Bank Is PROUD to Say: You Owe Us Money by Lily Blumkin
From The Slackjaw Editors’ Desk:
My Character, Not Me, Thinks That Tipping Culture Is Getting A Little Out Of Control by Adam Dietz & Troy Doetch in Slackjaw
Beer Sucks by Alex Baia in Slackjaw
I’m Protesting The State Of Our Nation By Having Marginally Less Fun This 4th of July by Adam Dietz in Slackjaw
Letter to the Editor:
Dear Adam,
I am a successful film actor/director who is notoriously handsome. I have received much acclaim over the years, made oodles of money, and am married to a woman who is as beautiful as she is accomplished. I am also really good at pranking people and I get a lot of joy from that. Oh and ahh, I started a tequila company and it’s now worth a billion dollars. I guess I don’t really have a question. Bye!
-George from Hollywood, CA
The Final Bell:
The Henry Winkler look-alike contest is ongoing. We’ve received several entries, but I want more! So if you or anyone you know (pets included) resembles Henry Winkler, at any point in his life, please email me a photo at Slackjawsubmissions@gmail.com. I’ll plan to announce the winner(s) soon!
Be sure and follow Slackjaw on all of your favorite social media sites. Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram, it’s all here.
Interesting in submitting to Slackjaw? Of course you are! Our submission guidelines can be found here.
Spread the word, comment below, tell your friends. Keep reading, writing, drinking, eating, and doing your thing.
Until the next edition of Yapjaw, take it easy.
